My Many Attempts (and Failures) at Social Networking

Social networking, we all do it. In fact, I am more or less doing it now. (Not that anyone else but who I live with reads this blog but there it is.) It is that wonderful thing were there is a network of social people, mostly today used in the context of online social networking. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr. Sites that connect you with people and are fun and easy to use.

And that's were I come in.

Me, online social network would be better described as online social failures. Recently I have joined "the" Facebook for the fourth time. But hold off on you judgement, my dear readers. Unlike most people, when they "leave" Facebook, it is a voluntary action, with them rushing back after a few days of abstinence. This makes many, including myself, sigh and roll our eyes just a little bit. I, on the other hand, was forcibly kicked off, three times. Okay, so now you can judge, but judge appropriately.

The first time I was kicked off, I am fairly certain it was because they thought I was the sort of criminal that preyed on teenagers. Some back story on how I came to this conclusion, because, just to let you all know, I am not a criminal that preys on teenagers.

When I was kicked off, it was with no warning whatsoever. In the morning I logged into my account, by the afternoon I could not. There was no explanation as to why this had happened, and I even contacted Facebook about it. I never received a reply. Understandably, I was annoyed, and I know all of my faithful followers were furious. Curious to get to the bottom of this confounding dilemma, I did a little research online.

Apparently Facebook often kicks people off. Usually because they are doing too much social networking. Things such as loading up pictures, liking other pictures, asking for friends, those sorts of things. The programs designed to find robots and terminate their accounts look for this kind of behavior, not discriminating against people who do the same thing. (I am not sure what the problem is with robots being on Facebook, or on the internet at all. It seems rather discriminatory.) From what I found there, the people always got a warning, something along the lines of "Stop your excessive online social networking or we will terminate your account. If you stop you will prove you are not a robot, and we will not kick you off." (Wait, maybe it isn't robot discrimination, maybe its just Facebook's way of telling you to get out more...) Anyway, this common reason for being kicked off is because you are acting like a robot.

I received no such warning. And while I did have a dedicated collection of friends, I highly doubted I did enough on Facebook to warrant being called a robot. I did a little more research. Apparently, accounts where Facebook just ends you, are when they do not suspect you of being a robot. In fact, it is when they suspect you of being a human. A criminal in fact, and one that plans on doing some very serious crimes at that. Anyone who knows me knows I look for rules to follow and laws to obey sooooo, why me? Well apparently putting down a high-school i you did not actually go to is enough be be "suspicious." In fact, even if you are not a criminal, putting down the wrong high-school can still be enough to get kicked off. Since I was home-schooled, I put down something really weird, I can't even remember what. Something stupid like "my bedroom."

I have no proof that was why I was kicked off, that is only my very best guess.

And then the same thing happened...again.

I contacted Facebook again after the second time I was kicked off, explaining to them even my suspicions as to why I had been kicked off the first time. The actually replied back to me this time, apologizing, and they gave me my account again, (the second one, not the first one.)

The third time I am pretty sure it was from non-use. I mean, I would go to Facebook, and see what other people were up to, but I would not do anything myself. So I mean, that one was kind of my fault.

And because I liked being kicked off of things, I joined a fourth time, just for the fun of it.

I also joined Twitter a couples years back. Despite having only made 7 tweets total they have kicked me off yet.

A Very Interesting Topic

In light of the title for today's post, I am very sad to tell you that it isn't true. Not even a little bit. So here is a video that you should all watch, whether you found this post by following my blog, or you found me on google, or some other way that I probably don't want to know about.

Once you're done laughing or being angry, please read on if you care to. An explanation of sorts can be found below. 

My last post, if you will remember, was about the Olympics, and how I wasn't going to watch them, and how it was cool that Matt Smith carried the Olympic torch part of the way, even though it would have been better if David Tennant would have done it. Well, I noticed something. 

A lot more people were viewing my blog than before.

And I mean a lot. Way more than when I ever consistently blogged about the very interesting things you all loved so much. Looking through the provided by blogger, I discovered that the majority of those views were due to people looking up "David Tennant Olympic torch." Though they must have been pretty desperate for any kind of information on "David Tennant Olympic torch" because when I looked it up on google I gave up looking for my blog by the time I got to page five. How many pages did these people sort through before they found my blog? That got me thinking. Could I possibly use this as an underhand way to get more people to view my blog.

Yes, yes I can.

But the real question. I'm I really vain, petty, and superficial enough to do it? Maybe, maybe not, but if there is one thing I know, it's that apparently I like conveying the the same thing, but saying it slightly differently, three times in a row. 

Then I realized, this has nothing to do with being vain, or petty, or superficial, this has everything to do with being an amazing blogger. I must do this, so that others may come to my blog and see for what's it's worth!  They day you see my blog is the day you change, and change for the better, or at least change in a neutral way. Not change in a bad way, that would be bad, and I probably would have gotten complaints. 

So if by now you still don't understand what the whole point of this video is here are some lists of some of the most googled things. Hey, don't judge, I'm only helping those who need to find me, find me. 

Rebecca Black                                     Google +                                     Ryan Dunn 

Casey Anthony                                     Battlefield 3                                 iPhone 5

Adele                                                   Fukushima I Nuclear Plant           Steve Jobs
iPad 2                                                  The World Cup                           Olympics
Haiti EarthQuake                            Oil Spil                                          Ash Cloud                                   Justin bieber                                         Nicki minaj                                  Friv

Myxer                                                  Katy Perry                                  Twitter

Gamezer                                              Facebook                                    Chatroulette

Sorry about the funkiness of the list, I'm not sure what happened about that. No wait, I meant to do that to be artistic.

2012 Olympics

Hello everybody! I am posting here today in honor of the 2012 Olympics. Most days I walk up early and either run or do some strength training/cardio thingy. Yesterday though, in honor of the 2012 Olympics, I slept in and did not work out at all, unless of course exercising my ability of free will counts. I don't really watch the Olympics. Not even a little bit, unless I'm really bored and there is some funny sport on at the time like curling. (It's so funny to watch. Especially the more serious teams that yell at each other as they play.) I'm not much of a sports girl. If I had to choose between watching sports in the best seat of the house, or a documentary about paint, I would choose the latter. I will officially have nothing to talk about with the majority of people for the next several days.

The only thing which makes this Olympics of any importance to me is that Matt Smith carried the Olympic torch for part of the opening ceremony. Now for those of you who don't understand why this is such a wonderful thing, I'm so sorry, you get to stay in the dark. If you don't get it now, you don't deserve to know.

I was really hoping for David Tennant, (he will always be my favorite doctor) but I'm enough of a geek that I think it's really awesome that Matt Smith got to do it. 

At the Shack

So yea, what I am about to do is take an everyday event, and make it seems extraordinary. Pretty much I use a lot of adjectives and adverbs and exaggerate what really happened. I am sure somewhere in the world of all that is written there is some technical name for it. I'm not sure why, I just went to Radio Shack the other day to get a US to European adapter and thought it would be fun to write about. And don't get too confused if I suddenly change tenses in the middle. I started out in present tense then ended up in past tense, and I am not sure where the transition occured. I went through the whole thing and tried to make it all present tense, but I am not sure I got everything.

~*~*~*~*~

I walk into Radio Shack and things are fairly calm. The one employee was helping someone else. Other than myself they are the only people there. I go to browse to see if I can find the adapter on my own or wait till the employee is done. While I was looking, a slightly nervous looking employee comes darting out of the "Employee's Only" door. He walks up to the counter, turns around a couple of times like a dog on speed chasing his own tail, then dashes back through the door, mumbling something about someone picking up the phone.

I cross the aisle when suddenly, I hear a voice right by my hear were not a soul had been before.

Sorry I couldn't get to you earlier ma'am, how can I help you?"

The words followed each other in a rapid fire motion by a deep voice that may have rumbled if it hadn't been manic. Instead it rasped in an oddly crisp way. So quickly were the words spoken though, the person had finished speaking before I had a chance to register that the words were addressed to me. It too even more time for me to turn around and recognize the nervous employee from earlier as the voice.

I look him straight in they eye, which was odd since I am only 5' 2" and they only males I don't have to look up at are usually in middle school. His body was thin and lanky, his limbs held loosely in their sockets. His face was sharp and made angular by aquiline cheek bones and nose. His dirty blond hair looked well groomed and luxuriously soft. It covered the top of his head with gentle curls and crept down his face, giving him a full beard.

He stars at me with wide, unblinking eyes as if I possessed the required information to give his life meaning. 

"Yes, uuuuuuuuu," I finally say, showing every bit of my intellect, and my mind having finally caught up, "I need a European plug adapter.

The man suddenly looks immeasurably more comfortable. 

"Come with me," he says, jerking the right direction on his heels.

The man and I get to the place the adapters were kept.

"What kind do you need?" the man asks, looking at the adapters with feverish attention.

It takes me a moment to realize what he meant. I don't want to simply say European again in case he meant something else and I would sounded like an idiot, more of one at least. Then I realized he probably meant if I wanted US to Europe, or Europe to US.

This thought process takes about two seconds, and I part my lips to speak when I noticed the man already is holding both out to me.  

I point to the US to European one. I also say "That one," but as the man already had the Europe to US one back on the shelf and placed the US to Europe on in my hand, the words seemed superfluous.

The man then goes into a monologue about needing a converter if my hairdryer, laptop, radio, or whatever had a voltage less than 200, and that I could check that and it was forty dollars instead of the nine of the adapter so I should come back instead of by\uying it now if I did not know and that was a phone number on the top of the receipt so feel free to call in case I couldn't remember anything he had just said.

It probably would take most people five minutes to say everything the man said, but he only takes about a minutes and seventeen seconds.

We walk over to the checkout counter and I buy the adapter. In the short time the man and I interacted  the shop was suddenly full of frenetic energy. Five other employees had materialized and now darted form place to place with a curt grace. I was the only consumer, yet there was this wild rush of wild excitement. All I see are the blurred images of geeks all dressed in khaki rearranging gadgets I had hardly received my change before the man joined the fray.

I left, feeling an odd sense of regret that I had not read the man's name tag, so I would have to call him "the short blond guy from Radio Shack" for the rest of my life.